Translating Mariah Carey’s Shadiest Moments on ‘WWHL’

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Mariah Carey chills hangs out in the clubhouse with "Watch What Happens Live" host Andy Cohen. (Photo: Charles Sykes/Bravo)

Mariah Carey chills in the clubhouse with “Watch What Happens Live” host Andy Cohen. (Photo: Charles Sykes/Bravo)

When it comes to throwing shade, Mariah Carey can hang with the best of ‘em.

She’s quick-witted, funny and takes no prisoners, even if they’re her fellow divas.

Madonna, Jennifer Lopez and Christina Aguilera are just a handful of those who’ve been slashed over the years by the blade know as Mimi’s tongue.

So you know it was on when Carey joined “Watch What Happens Live” host Andy Cohen—who lives for shady moments— in the clubhouse Tuesday.

Cohen asked Carey about an interview in the early 2000s where she famously said, “I don’t know her,” when asked about Lopez.

“That was so long ago, I can’t believe people still make such a big deal out of it,” Carey told Cohen, who then said, “She says you know her!”

"You know what? I'm very forgetful," Carey said. "If I had never had a conversation with you and someone asked me about you, I would say, 'I don't know him, but he seems cool. I don't know him."

“Does she seem cool?” Cohen asked about Lopez.

Carey paused for a few seconds and said, “I don’t know her.”

Oh, Mimi.

I cannot confirm nor deny that Carey and Lopez have met and actively engaged with one another outside of simple pleasantries. And even if they had, it doesn't seem that they were BFFs who often passed the time braiding one another's hair while dishing on vocal techniques and industry gossip. They probably have had conversations together, however brief, but for some reason Carey ain't claiming it. Only time will tell if J.Lo will provide receipts to back her claim that she and Carey know each other.

Carey may not know J.Lo, but she sure does know Nick Cannon, Eminem and Nicki Minaj.

Cohen asked Carey to play “Plead the Fifth,” a game where he asked her questions about those three and she could only refuse to answer one. Carey’s responses are so subtly shady that I couldn’t help but offer my translation.

QUESTION 1: What is your honest opinion about Nick Cannon’s new back tattoo that he got to cover up—

RESPONSE: “Don’t know it; didn’t see it.”

TRANSLATION: I promised to keep it cute for the sake of our kids.

Before Cohen could even get the full question out about Carey's ex-hubby covering up the tattoo of her name scribbled across his upper back, she offered that quick retort. It's probably the safest answer given that Carey and Cannon share custody of their twins, son Moroccan, and daughter, Monroe.

QUESTION 2: Mariah, last time you plead the fifth, I asked you to say three nice things about Eminem—

RESPONSE: “And I told you that they were chocolate, they’re different colors, they’re really good.”

TRANSLATION: Dude, I obviously don’t want to talk about this. So why do you keep asking?

Carey and Eminem were rumored to be romantically linked 15 years ago and after the supposed brief romance, he dissed her on a song and the two have been beefing ever since. Andy, I don't think her response is going to change, so maybe it's best not to ask her again.

QUESTION 3: Can you say three nice things about Nicki Minaj?

RESPONSE: After simply staring at Cohen for six long seconds, she asked, “Can you?” Cohen responded “sure” before asking her if she wanted to plead the fifth. Carey thoughtfully answered: “You know, I always felt that it was more important with that situation not to plead the fifth but to just stay above the fray because you don’t want to be … de classe. You just want to move it along.”

TRANSLATION: I don’t like her. The experience was terrible but I’m going to keep it cute and classy by being  the bigger person.

Mimi is a character!

I know she’ll have everyone in stitches when her new E! reality show docu-series “Mariah’s World” debuts later this year.  In the meantime, watch her recent clubhouse visit below and see if you agree with my interpretations. “Watch What Happens Live” airs Sunday through Thursday at 11 p.m. ET on Bravo.

WATCH: Mariah Carey talks about Jennifer Lopez on “WWHL”

WWHL-movie-blog

 

WATCH: Mariah Carey plays “Plead the Fifth” on “WWHL”

WWHL-movie-blog

 

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The opinions expressed are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of Comcast.

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