Who is the biggest gangster on “The Good Wife?” Is it Will (Josh Charles), who is determined to turn Lockhart-Gardner into a nationwide legal empire? Is it the message board poster in this week’s case who proclaims himself “gangsta”? Alicia (Julianna Margulies) and Cary stole numerous Lockhart-Gardner clients, which gives them some street cred. In this week’s episode, “Whack-a-Mole,” new Lockhart-Gardner hire Damian seems to be an actual mobster. But it’s Jackie who proves herself to be the most gangster character this week. Do not mess with a senior citizen with nothing better to do than nurse a grudge.
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Meet the Aptly Named Damian
While Florrick-Ago was desperate for clients, Lockhart-Gardner had the opposite problem. It had too much work and not enough lawyers thanks to the defections of Alicia, Cary and the fourth years. Will rejected every candidate that human resources brought him but was intrigued by mob lawyer Damian Boyle (Jason O’Mara), who was searching for a firm after years as a solo practitioner. In court, Will watches as the Damian basically reenacted the Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer sketch form “Saturday Night Live” after the AUSA accuses him of being a mobster himself. Will bought Damian a drink and offered him a job. The rest of the partners initially hated the idea of him joining the firm, especially since they didn’t vote on it. David suggested sanctioning Will for violating the firm’s procedure rather than voting to kick out Damian. However, Damian’s rebellious Irish charm soon appealed to the other lawyers.
The Resemblance to Reddit Is Entirely Intentional
Since Alicia still had no clue how to recruit new clients (how about a “Florrick Knows All the Legal Tricks” billboard?), it was convenient that her former client Zayeed, a local professor, needed her help. The FBI confiscated his computer because he was a suspect in a bombing in Milwaukee. He insisted he had nothing to do with it. It turned out that he was targeted because a message board, Scabbit, had a thread devoted to speculation that he was the bomber, complete with crowd sourced candid photographs that purported to show him in the crowd. It was ridiculous that the FBI took it seriously, but Reddit led law enforcement astray during the investigation of the Boston bombing. Alicia sued Scabbit to get the thread removed. Judge Kleuger (Jeffrey Tambor) agreed to an injunction. Of course, another thread about Zayeed soon sprung up. Meanwhile, Damian heard that Florrick-Agos stole Chum Hum and brought a group of Lockhart-Gardner lawyers over to their conveniently empty office, persuaded a secretary that they were with a furniture company and removed all the desks. Damian noticed a Scabbit file on Alicia’s desk and persuaded Will that they should represent Scabbit, believing it could lead to them getting Chum Hum back because they would be defending Internet freedom while Florrick-Agos would be arguing against it.
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After a hearing in which as soon as the Scabbit CEO deleted a thread another one appeared, Alicia noticed that Damian was wearing the "Number 1 Mom" pin that he stole from her desk. When she called Damian out about stealing her office furniture, Will genuinely seemed to have no idea what his new hire had done. When Zayeed was fired, Alicia sued Scabbit for $8 million in damages. She questioned a witness, a Scabbit moderator who described himself as "gangsta" who posted lies about Zayeed. Will argued he wasn't an employee because he wasn't paid. Alicia argued that the points he earned for his posts meant that he was supervised, which apparently constitutes employment. However, the points were distributed by an algorithm, not a person, so that argument did not work. It turned out that one of the posters who discussed Zayeed on multiple networks was actually a bot created by the site to generate traffic. Scabbit was ruled responsible, and Alicia and Cary relished negotiating a $1.5 million settlement with Lockhart-Gardner. Then, in a truly bizarre twist, the episode ended with Kluger asking her out to coffee. Does he need a favor from the governor's wife, or does he honestly think he has a shot with her? Stay tuned.
Kalinda Finally Gets a Storyline
Diane (Christine Baranski), the one partner who was not seduced by Damian’s brogue, asked Kalinda (Archie Panjabi) to investigate him. Kalinda interviewed him, saying it was part of the firm’s vetting process. He told her he didn’t believe in women investigators, though he clearly was trying to provoke her, or perhaps “neg” her Pick-Up Artist style. He gave her three different birthdates and admitted to being arrested. But the story he told of getting a DUI then having the charges dismissed in exchange for a large donation to the police, was something that Howard actually did. Kalinda wondered how he paid for law school, suggesting that the mob financed his degree He told her, “Come at me.” She either destroy him, sleep with him or do both at the same time.
Jackie Proves Revenge Is a Dish Best Served Cold
Jackie (Mary Beth Peil) discovered that Rachel Kaiser (Mary Stuart Masterson) was Peter’s nominee for the supreme court. She was upset because Rachel had an affair with Peter’s father. The adultery apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. Jackie told Eli (Alan Cumming) that if he did not torpedo Rachel, she would tell Peter about the affair. Eli refused to make an issue out of something that had nothing to do with her qualifications. So Jackie threatened to tell Rachel’s husband about the affair if she didn’t bow out. Rachel claimed he already knew. Jackie did not buy it, so she went to visit him in the hospital where he was being treated for cancer. Rachel saw her, realized she would wreck her marriage over something that happened decades ago, and withdrew her name from consideration. Then Jackie took out her red Sharpie and drew an “X” through Rachel’s photograph. Well, not really, but she could school Emily Thorne on effective, efficient revenge.
“The Good Wife” airs Sundays at 9/8c on CBS.