There’s only one name that should be on ‘Glee‘ viewers’ lips today, and it doesn’t start with a B.
It’s Heather, b—h.
This week’s much-hyped episode, “Britney/Brittany,” not only showcased why Heather Morris was bumped up to series regular this season, but it made us wonder why she wasn’t there all along.
The hour started with the glee club fending off Schue’s attempts to have them to sing the kind of songs you only hear when you’re on hold with your insurance company. This got Kurt’s natty knickers in a knot, so he suggested the kids do a Britney Spears number at the homecoming pep rally. Our favorite Cheerio – revealed to be named Brittany S. Pierce – declared that glee club is the one place she can “escape the torment” of living in the shadow of the pop diva’s talent. “It’s been a rough road,” she sighed to gal pal Santana.
Turns out that none but John Stamos could free her mind. He was on call as dentist Dr. Carl, and an anesthesia-laced visit with him prompted Brittany to visualize her potential as the super-foxy, singing-and-dancing goddess she really is. For a second spin, Brittany brought Santana in so they could syncro-hallucinate. Next, Rachel was empowered as her dentist visit put her in a "Baby One More Time" frame of mind. Then Artie's visit made him "Stronger." In the end, the kids convinced Schue that Britney is an inspiration, and he agreed to let them perform "Toxic" for the school.
Did you miss the episode or want to get hit with it one more time? Watch it below:
Part of Schue's agreement to a Brit number was the condition that he join the club in the performance. (He was trying to win Emma's affection back with his youthful, um, flava.) He was totes jealous of Corvette-driving, candy-dealing Dr. Carl, aka Emma's new sweetie. It didn't work, though, because Emma likes it when her men don't try so hard but simply relax.
Ms. Pillsbury wasn't the only one horrified with New Directions' performance. Sue Sylvester had been warning Will that Britney music would lead to all-out debauchery. And sure enough, despite prepping her trusty sidekick Becky to make a citizen's arrest, Sue couldn't be saved from the stampede caused during the pep-rally-turned-"Britney Spears sex riot."
Finn and Artie’s struggles for popularity and love continued as they tried – and succeeded – at making their way onto the football team. Rachel fretted that Finn would stray if he once again ruled the school, so she counter-attacked with an old-school Britney schoolgirl look that created quite a stir with the boys at McKinley High. And by stir, we mean Jacob “Jewfro” ended up naked in Sue’s office after some fantasy time of his own.
We’ve yet to see if Artie can actually steamroll his opponents on a football field, but we do know that those bulky shoulder pads didn’t hold back his sweet moves.
True to form, the show ended with a reflective number by Rachel, who completed the original adult-contemporary(ish) assignment with the only non-Britney number of the show, Paramore's "The Only Exception." Finn is making her believe in love, Schue has lost Emma, yadda, yadda, tear, tear.
Mercedes, Quinn, and Tina were all but sidelined, but at least we got some saucy steps from Santana as Madonna in “Me Against the Music.”
Here are some reasons to be thankful for your DVR’s rewind button:
• Most killer performance: “I’m a Slave 4 U” as a mash-up of three different Britney looks tied up into one terrific solo by Morris, who essentially out-Britneyed Britney.
• Best Brittany line: In the chair at Dr. Carl’s office, “This room looks like the one on that spaceship where I got probed.” Runner-up: “Finn can fly?”
• Best Sue-ism: That whole speech about the fallout from the 1968 Democratic National Convention. Who knew Ladybird Johnson had a tramp stamp?
• Best live-Tweet from @britneyspears herself during the show: ”That’s a serious afro, ya’ll!“ (It did look like a Jewish cloud….) Runner-up: “Jane Lynch scares me.”
And you can be grateful for that fast-forward button, too:
• Most cringe-inducing number: “Baby One More Time.” Yes, seeing Brittany replicate Britney vids was somehow fresh and freakin’ hot, but when Rachel did the same thing, it was totally lame.
• Most cringe-inducing subplot:Seriously, did we need to see Jacob get so… excited… at the pep rally?
What did you think of ‘Glee’s homage to Britney Spears? Was it worth the wait and months of headlines?